&&-- rainy appointment [hiso&kitsu]

[KITSUNE AYUMU]

[atrb=width,450px,true][atrb=cellpadding,10px,true][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=background,http://www.colorgourmet.com/_cache/Wall%20Stickers/img/Birch_Wallpaper_0.jpg][atrb=style, opacity:0.7][bg=#ffffff] i just want to tell you so you know ❖ here i go scream my lungs out and try to get to you you are my only one i let go but theres no one that gets me like you do you are my only one - and somethings breaking up i feel like giving up i wont walk out until you know you are my only one the sky was pouring out its tears on the earth as a petite blonde slipped into the park. it was abnormally deserted for the time of day, but it only made sense with the angry color of the sky above. bright blue eyes darted up to the sky for a second, and the small body immediately shivered slightly. the blonde pulled his jacket on tighter and set off toward the more shelter section of the park. he had just arrived in namimori, and he was dying to see his friend, hisoka kyoshi. the blonde had been forced to wait a few extra days in italy in order to close up a few lose ends; it all came with being the right hand. kitsune ayumu hated it though, and he just wanted to find his raven and hang onto him for the rest of the day. maybe even curl up under a pile of blankets with the raven as a pillow and watch sappy romance movies. the blonde bobbed his head up and down a few times at the thought. a breeze took the smile off his face though, and the teen shivered more under his light sky blue jacket. he was soaked through to the bone, but he had promised hisoka that he would meet him at the park. he could only hope that the raven would keep up his end of the bargain. the trees were slowly bending under the pressure of the rain as kitsune finally reached the somewhat dryer benches. he had passed by an odd number of completely soaked benches, and he hadn’t felt up to letting himself get even more soaked. there really was no way around it though. he could blame his superiors all he wanted for making him stay longer in italy, but they had no control over the weather. it was really his own fault for wanting to get to japan as soon as possible without checking out the weather forecast. the blonde sighed as he collapsed on a wooden bench. the sun guardian quickly wrapped himself into a ball and let himself fall sideways so that he was lying on the bench. the world tilted as he fell, and the blonde didn’t even try to hold back his joyous laughter. it didn’t feel right for the blonde to be remorseful or vapid. the young fox shivered again as a harsh breeze brought another spray of wind onto the blonde’s petite frame. how often had the blonde waited out in storms for his raven? more times then the kit cared to remember. another sigh escaped from the blonde’s petal pink lips as he started to hum softly. kitsune laid there for what felt like centuries to the young blonde. he watched as leaf after leaf fell and danced to the ground as the wind continued to blow fiercely against the trees. the resounding whisper was soothing to the blonde whose nerves were slowly starting to overreact. the healer felt like it had been hours past the arranged time to meet his raven, and he was beginning to feel worry eating away at the edge of his consciousness. the rain was coming down harder, and the blonde couldn’t help but feel that some god was angry with him. a shudder racked the blonde’s fragile frame as the crack of a stick reached the teen’s sharp ears. bright blue eyes widened slightly as the blonde pulled himself out of his previous position. a petite body bounded across the earth as the raven became distinguishable to kitsune’s sky blue eyes. the blonde immediately wrapped his wiry arms around the paler teen’s neck before burying his face into the hollow between hisoka’s neck and shoulder. sobs racked the fox’s body as he tightened his grip on the other male. you took too long, hiso. i thought you had forgot or didn’t want anything to do with me anymore or didn’t care if i was left alone in the rain for hours. how late are you? how have you been? you don’t hate me, right? i don’t know what i’d do if you hated me. please don’t say you hate me! hiso, do you feel alright? you weren’t in the rain for long, right? you aren’t cold or anything? you have eaten, right? you haven’t terrified everyone in the base, neh? and you don’t hate me, right? words spilled out of the young guardian’s mouth as he continued to cling onto the blackette. his voice was rushed and muffled as the teen hadn’t moved his head. the words almost seemed to flow together, but sobs often punctuated every few words out of the teen’s mouth. another shiver passed through the blonde’s body as another gust of wind swept over the land. NOTES

[/color] ★ poor kitsu thinks hiso hates him. correct him, hiso!! WORDS[/color] ★ didn't count TAGS[/color] ★ hiso (nem) CREDITS[/color] ★ ashton of on the edge.[/div][/td][/tr][/table]
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[HISOKA KYOSHI]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=padding,0,true][bg=000000][atrb=background,http://i54.tinypic.com/21lsi2t.jpg] I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE WITH YOU but my fears are drowning me Hisoka had felt odd that week. Normally the raven wasn't affected by anything. He could move on and do things his own pace and style, but it just seemed off. Normally by now, Hisoka would of been. At the thought, the blackette stopped in his small steps that had him in his room pacing. By now he would of already been begged by Kitsune to do something with the small boy. It reminded him that the blonde was away for a little bit. Hisoka had honestly thought that everything would just be fine. He would survive the few days that the blonde had been away by staying busy and other such nonsense that the raven called "duties". They really needed to be called chores. The raven had made it after all he guessed. It was the day Kitsune had promised to be back, but that wasn't the bad part. The bad part was the reason that the raven was pacing in his room. Several things were knocked over and things were out of place. This was not how Hisoka normally kept his room. Normally it was straight and orderly and everything was perfectly in place and ready for any unexpected guests that would want to make and instant appearance in on the cloud guardian. For his room to be in such a mess something must of really been bothering the blackette and things were definitely bothering him. Hisoka hit over a small lamp by his bed during his pacing. The small thing started to fall before the raven's quick movements caught the lamp and set it back on the dresser. He really needed to calm down he knew but things were bothering him much more than they should be. The reason that Hisoka was inside the base and not out doing numerous chores was another thing that should of been noticeable to anyone that actually wanted to notice within the base. It was because outside, the sky was crying. It was making it almost impossible for the blackette to go anywhere. The boy had always feared water. Even when it came from the sky. His past, the thing that he constantly tried to keep out of his head, it tended to come out during days like this. It wasn't the past that made Hisoka pace as bad as he was though. It was the fact that Kitsune was coming today. The blonde had made the raven promise that he would meet him at the park today. Knowing the blonde, he had completely forgotten about Hisoka's most darkest fear. Or had the raven ever really told him about such things. He must of, because he had always made sure to be inside during days like this. But the raven knew, he knew that his kit must of been busy and would of probably completely forgotten about him. About.. what made Hisoka scared. One of the only things that ever truly frightened the blackette. His past, it was the blackette's strongest weakness. It kept him from certain things and it changed him from the small kind boy he had once been. It had made him hard and a person that people didn't really want to be around. And it made him like this. But.. Hisoka couldn't just leave the blonde out there could he? Something in the blackette pushed at him to move, move out of the room and outside. Outside, to were his worst nightmare was coming true. Could he really face what had made him hide within himself for the longest of time? Could he fight his darkest memories, the ones of his family and of his old self. It made the blackette shake in a way he had never done before. Hisoka had never showed such emotions as he did then. As the battle within himself continued on and on. The normal dark eyes of the raven where now colored red as they had been for about an hour or two now. His eyes glanced at the digital numbers on the clock on his nightstand. It was time. He knew, even if he left now, he would be late. Kitsune would be scared and frightened, and the blonde, could even come to hate the raven if he never showed up. He had always been there for Kitsune. He had always been that one person that hadn't left him no matter what had happened. That bit at Hisoka worse than any physical wound or memory. And the pain he felt caused him to cry out a loud horrible cry. No one came to him though, it seemed almost as if the base was empty. Everyone was doing something else or was simply to pre-occupied to see where the agonizing cry had come from. Hisoka didn't know what to do at all. He forced his body to move. He left his discarded room behind. He stalked the halls, his normal silent footsteps making noise now. He could hear it, the sounds of the outside as it pounded against the walls of the base. It frightened the blackette to the point that his body wouldn't stop shaking no matter how much self control he had within his body. His form finally made it to the door of the base. He knew how far the park was from her but there was no way he could take any object to protect himself from the rain. If he wanted to make it to the blonde in time, he would have to run to even make it within an hour of the time that he had promised the blonde to be at the park. Hisoka's body shook as his eyes took in the downpour of the rain outside. He had opened the door and the wind instantly whipped at him moving his black locks around his face. His eyes however were locked on the water that fell. His memory instantly flashed back to that day that had been in his mind all day. Out of his own misery and pain he was causing himself hisoka fell over halfway clutching his stomach before he hacked up blood. His eyes shook as he felt the rain hit him. He closed his eyes shut and knew he had to do this. Before his body could stop him anymore, Hisoka raced from the door. The water hit him like a thousand whips that could strike someone's back. Something shot through him but he ignored the feeling and ran. He didn't care that everything around him seemed to be falling apart. He ... loved Kitsune, he loved him enough to put everything he could into getting to him, everything he possible had within his body. Even if it took everything out of his frame that seemed to be having worse spasms. He ran. As he ran he forced his scarlet eyes opened and tried to concentrate on where he was going through the downpour that blocked his vision and stung his eyes and body. He took a small cut through a small forest. He knew it would take him right to the park, and maybe to the blonde that was waiting for him to come. For him. Kitsune was the only thing that kept the blackette moving. His body wanted to shut down and drop him there on the mossy ground that seemed to suck in the rain that he desperately wanted to hide away from. The raven was not himself though, he was not as visual as he normally was. This was all messing with his normal senses that were normally as sharp as ever. As he ran, he wasn't paying attention to the landscape, and it ultimately cost him. Hisoka felt his foot stick but that was all it took. He normally could of caught himself but instantly it took him down. His frame hit the ground hard and he felt a agonizing pain in the middle of his forehead. It sent his head spiraling. He would of made it on time, if he had been careful, but he had been so, worried, so worried that Kitsune wouldn't be okay, that he hadn't been paying attention. Hisoka laid there for what felt like hours, the pain wouldn't subside and the rain just seemed to help paralyze his body. He could feel the burning combination of rain and blood as it trailed down his face. He knew he couldn't just lay there though, he knew much better than that. It took everything he had to move in even the slightest. Pain instantly shot to his head but the image of Kitsune was in his head right now. No pain, could really keep the raven down when something like this was happening. He forced himself to his knees and then tried desperately to get to his feet, at first it didn't work and the blackette fell right back down. His eyes were shut out of agony and his body wasn't doing anything to help him. Normal people couldn't do what the raven was trying with everything he had to do. People couldn't do what he had tried so hard to accomplish, but Hisoka, had never truly been normal had he? He finally forced himself to his feet and instantly staggered into a tree and used its firmness for his support. In his pain his head turned up toward the sky. The rain fell against his face and burned when it fell into his wound that stung and made it even harder to see. His scarlet eyes shook as he looked up to the sky in pure agony that seemed to radiate from his form that had once looked so strong and able to take on the world. This form, was weak and hurt and didn't want to even stand. Like that of a shaky child that he had been all those years ago when his parents had saved him from certain death only to die a few years later when he couldn't save them yet again. Hisoka could feel tears fall from his face but the rain covered them well. He wanted to yell or scream or do anything to make himself move. He wanted, for the first time, he wanted to give up. He wanted to fall and never get up again, and let the rain take him. Take him away from the world that he had lived in and never really had a moment to really feel like he was supposed to be here. But.. he couldn't, he wasn't alone in this world. He had kitsune, the blonde.. the little fox whose face was always so bright, how would he survive in this world without the raven to be beside him and protect him? That made Hisoka move. Even with every agonized and painful step it pushed him away from the tree. His footsteps made his form stagger through the forest before the park seemed visible. And there he was, his small little kit laying on the bench so horrible looking. It made hisoka's heart ache but he could do nothing about it then though. His body shook violently and his legs felt like they couldn't hold him up much longer. And Hisoka wondered how much blood actually covered his face from his head wound. The little fox didn't seem to notice such things though. The blonde instantly wrapped his arms around his neck causing Hisoka's body to stiffen in pain and his shaking to only get worse. He let out a soft gasp and could barely make out all the words that the blonde had said to him. But the last struck at him. Hate him. That the blonde could ever think that the raven hated him. It hurt worse and worse as the words sunk into his body. After everything, everything they had ever been through and everything he had gone through to get here, the fox could think such things. The tears fell harder from him. "H-How... could... you ever....think.. such....cruel....things.. of me.....Kit..su..ne..." the blackette barely got out through a shaky voice that did not belong to someone like him. But he could barely stand let alone talk. His body spasmed again causing him to flinch and cry out softly again. He had never wanted Kitsune to see him like this. This was why he hid himself away on days like this, now the blonde knew why. "I-I'm sorry....kitsune...that...i ... didn't....come...to ..your...expectations....of..me.." he said before his body could take no more. His frame couldn't take his own weight let alone Kitsune's. His body became limp and instantly went down. Whether he dragged Kitsune to the ground with him or not he didn't know. But he felt the agonizing blow to his knees as they hit the pavement of the park. He couldn't say anything and right now, he was barely conscious. He didn't know what to think. If Kitsune thought he hated him, was there really a point to continue on the never ending circle of hate and pain that was Hisoka's life? He didn't know. He didn't know, and that was something that made Hisoka feel even more weak than he already was. WORDS;;2,201 TAGS;; Kit NOTES;; this made me cry LYRICS;; lyrics by NEME CREDIT;; to i k k i from OTE

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[KITSUNE AYUMU]

[atrb=width,450px,true][atrb=cellpadding,10px,true][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=background,http://www.colorgourmet.com/_cache/Wall%20Stickers/img/Birch_Wallpaper_0.jpg][atrb=style, opacity:0.7][bg=#ffffff] i just want to tell you so you know ❖ here i go scream my lungs out and try to get to you you are my only one i let go but theres no one that gets me like you do you are my only one - and somethings breaking up i feel like giving up i wont walk out until you know you are my only one pure horror. brain-freezing horror. the young fox couldn’t tear his eyes from the raven has the rain beat down around him. he wanted it all to just stop. for time to freeze, but time wasn’t so forgiving. he would have loved to wind back time and command the rain to stop. he would have loved to not have made that promise. the blackette sounded broken, and kitsune knew that he had caused this terrible, terrible distraught and pain for his raven. he had caused it, and guilt was busy eating away at his insides. he could feel the raven falling through his arms, and he wanted nothing more than to sweep hisoka away. away from the hurt, away from the rain, away from the blonde’s own destructive tendencies. they both knew the tendencies existed. they hurt each other repeatedly over the years, and they could never quite learn. the blonde wanted to see hisoka happy and smiling and free. he couldn’t stand seeing the raven hurt or caged away; it broke his fragile heart. the blonde wanted to run away. run away from all the pain he had caused hisoka. maybe it would have been better for the raven if they had never meet, but kitsune knew that he would be far worse off. hisoka kept him grounded, and the sun guardian was choking back his own sobs now as the blackette’s broken voice continued to ring in his mind. hisoka was strong. hisoka was a bird of the night. yet kitsune, a measly burden, had clipped hisoka’s wings for one instant with his silly promise. the blonde’s throat was aching. he wanted to scratch away at the pain, but that would only increase it. he wanted to let himself drown for the severe pain he had inflicted on hisoka. the young kit had known deep down that hisoka had something against water, but he still insisted on a meeting. he was selfish, but he couldn’t stay that way forever. hisoka was spoiling him. he had to put a stop to it, but kitsune couldn’t handle being hated by his raven or being alone for more than an hour or two at a time. the blonde could feel his body falling. his thin arms wrapped around the blackette’s neck again without the fox giving the action a cautious thought. regret, guilt, and unbelievable sadness filled his expressive blue orbs as he tightened his hold on his raven. the fox slowly shifted closer and tried vainly to keep his own emotions in check. he felt like everything was swirling down through a whirlpool of bitter anguish. soon nothing but a chilling numbness would be left, and the kit didn’t want that. the numbness, for him, signified destruction. there was nothing rebuilt during the phase of nothingness, and kitsune knew that all to well. sky blue hues focused on the pale blackette, and the fox could barely bite back a horrified gasp. he slowly shifted his body up and placed a chaste kiss on the blackette’s wounded forehead. guilt was assaulting him from every angle now as he transferred his gaze to his compassion’s vapid gaze. a soft sob finally managed to make its way through the kit’s throat. his raven seemed so broken, so completely lifeless. there was no unyielding confidence in his black hues, no vitriolic remark on his tongue, no life in his limp form. the pain ripping its way through the fox’s body was unbearable as he gazed at the young raven. the blonde could feel his crush, his friend, his everything slipping through his finger’s like sand as he watched. he didn’t want to lose hisoka. he wanted to place fetters around the other male’s ankles and command him to stay; kitsune couldn’t do that though. he didn’t hold the power. trying to save hisoka that way was like trying to snatch a star from the skin. kitsune was stuck firmly on the ground; hisoka was the one able to touch the stars. a biting wind swept across the land, but the fall of the rain was slowly growing lighter. the blonde didn’t know how long he had been out in the rain. he didn’t know how long the sky had been crying. he wasn’t even sure how long he had been staring silently into his raven’s dark hues. it could have been hours, minutes, seconds; it had felt like forever. those long minutes or seconds had brought the blonde to a conclusion though. not even birds could touch the sky when their wings were weighed down by the wait of the falling rain. the fox had somehow managed to bring his own raging emotions under control as he sat there. his knees ached, and he was slowly losing the feeling in his arms. regret still ate away at him, but he wanted nothing more than to help his friend. he couldn’t lose hisoka, not now and not ever. the blonde wouldn’t try to push him away, but he wouldn’t hold on as tightly if hisoka tried to push him away. he would let the raven slip through his fingers if he had too, but god knew he didn’t. the fox wanted to keep the raven close to him, but he couldn’t keep the bird caged. it wasn’t fair, and his petty promises where already weighing a great deal on the blackette. his mindless questions had struck some chord, and the blonde had watched his strong, resilient raven break. it had broken his heart into pieces, and he couldn’t mend those pieces. the sun guardian didn’t want to. the pain was far less than whatever demons hisoka had faced to reach him, and he had responded like an ungrateful brat. he had let his fears control him, and the kit couldn’t allow that to happen again. his fears were far less important than whatever demons lurked around his dear friend. he would release the raven if hisoka wanted that, but he would hold on tightly otherwise. weak rays of sunlight pierced through the light grey clouds above. the blonde didn’t dare to pull his eyes from the raven though. he couldn’t help but feel like he was the only thing keeping the blackette together, and the blonde hated that feeling. his hisoka was strong, but the fox was being to realize that the raven was invincible. demons of unbelievable power haunted his comrade, and kitsune wasn’t close enough to chase them away yet. hisoka wasn’t close enough to chase some of the fox’s own demons away. they were as different as night and day, but they both held certain secrets deep within their hearts. kitsune trusted the raven above all others though, and he couldn’t leave his friend believing that he hated the raven. no, that wasn’t acceptable. plus the fox would gladly give up anything for the raven. he loved the other with all his heart even though he knew there were still many, many barriers of steel around the raven’s heart. he would gladly take an axe and slowly chop them all down if hisoka would let him, but the kit knew it wasn’t that easy. it would never be that easy. it was a waste to wish that it was. one soundless sigh escaped the blonde’s slightly parted lips as he leaned back from the raven a bit. i’m so sorry that i made you think that, hiso. i couldn’t ever hate you. i—you mean the world to me, and i should know by now that you would’ve left me alone long ago if you hated me. i didn’t think, and you shouldn’t have come if the rain bothered you so much. i would… i would’ve been fine. we should move somewhere dry and warm. you need someone to take a look at your forehead and whatever other injuries you have. i don’t want you to catch something either. do you need help up? i’ll help you walk too. there should be a small grocery store just across the street. we can get what we need there—including an umbrella. then we can go home—the sight-seeing can wait for another day when hiso feels better, neh? a grimace flickered across the blonde’s face at how high and worried his voice sounded. the sound was foreign to his own ears. the same hysterical tone hadn’t settled in his voice for years; he had never let anyone close enough to become this distraught. the raven literally meant everything to him; and he would do anything to keep hisoka safe, happy, and uninjured. he was failing at each of his self-assigned tasks though. he was slowly clipping away at hisoka’s wings, and he couldn’t stand that. uncontrollable rage flooded the blonde’s body for a moment. he wasn’t mad at the rain. he wasn’t mad at anyone or anything except for himself. he was the monster, and he knew it. he shouldn’t have allowed himself to get so close to hisoka; the blonde should’ve respected the raven’s barriers. he had ignored it all and allowed himself to fall. the terrifying fact was that the blonde was still falling deeper and deeper into the emotion called love. shall we go, hiso? we can find something more to drink too—and new clothes. god knows we can’t go around in these soaking rages. NOTES

[/color] ★ god they both made me cry. WORDS[/color] ★ 1,555 TAGS[/color] ★ hiso (nem) CREDITS[/color] ★ ashton of on the edge.[/div][/td][/tr][/table]
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